I've had feelings for girls since I was in first grade (19 now) and I kind of blocked off those feelings my whole life but recently they have been coming back. My family would disown me and I don't want to hurt them. I really want to be with a girl but I don't want to have to have the pressure of being secret about it. Ugh, it's just a lot. I love Jesus and I've been taught it was a sin to like the same sex my whole life. I just don't know what to do :(
I’m going to recommend you take a couple of steps, alright?
1. You have to come to your own conclusions about whether or not same-sex sex is a sin. You cannot decide on what you have been taught alone. It is not that easy. What we are taught as children is not always correct or right. I suggest you do some research of the TRUTH in God’s word. Make sure you look at both sides of the argument and come to your own personal belief on the matter. There are many resources online, books, articles, biology, psychology, personal testimonies etc. Either way, it will be your belief and the only thing that others can combat that with is THEIR beliefs. It goes from being whats right or wrong, to what you believe. I hope that makes sense.
2. If after doing research you come to the conclusion that same-sex sex is a sin, then you have to make another decision: Does having sex with someone you love matter more than your eternal salvation and your relationship with God. I would hope that you’d choose God over any human in which case, life-long celibacy is basically your option. You would have to have a life committed to abstaining from sex, which is do-able, but hard. With the strength that Christ provides us, it is completely possible. Also, in regards to family and friends, you need to tell them what you’re going through and the life you have chosen for yourself. Ask for their support because you will most definitely struggle with it. Hopefully, they will want to help you.
3. If you come to the conclusion that it is not a sin, then it becomes pretty easy. By understanding and having a firm belief about why it is not a sin, you are free to have sexual experiences with other women without fear of eternal damnation because you are living in sin without repentance. However, this does not exclude you from the sins of pre-marital sex, lust, adultery, etc. Not to mention, as a Christian, it is very hard to have a relationship with a non-christian and ultimately, that is the best choice for us as Christians and for our walk with Christ. Just because you would be able to have relationships and sex with women doesn’t mean you should leave behind your faith.
4. If you believe #3, then comes the issue of dealing with family. You have to understand that it most likely won’t be easy, but it is completely your choice. I always support everyone coming out of the closet and I believe that God calls us to be true to ourselves and those who love us. Be honest with them and know that even if things turn sour, God still calls you His child at the end of the day and His love is enough. Not to mention, this would be your love and happiness with another person. No one else can have a say on that other than you, unless you let them.
All in all, seek the truth and be true to that. Be true to God and your relationship with Him. Be true to yourself and your relationship with other women. Be true to your friends and family. Whatever you decide, make sure your belief is firm and unwavering because people will want to convince you otherwise for all your life. If you have any other questions, please to ask. Let us know of your progress, whatever you need, we are here for you and God is always there for you. Prayer will help a lot as well.